Are you keen to avoid the worst restaurants in London and other food traps? Anyone who sells food in London has to comply with a stringent set of regulations, making it one of the safest cities in the world to eat. But safe and tasty are two different things.
Naming no names, here is a very personal list of restaurants to dodge.
For every place on my list there will be many people telling me of the exception to the rule. So at the risk of being controversial, I am going to plunge in…
Ultra Cheap Food Chains Top the List of the Worst Restaurants in London.
I have a friend who worked as a science teacher who told me an apocryphal tale that they ran a science experiment on a burger from a famous low cost food chain and they couldn’t find any meat in it. I can’t vouch for this experiment and it doesn’t, on the face of it, sound as if there is much truth in it…but when you think that some of the burgers out there cost £1, it begs the question of how they manage to make a profit.
Why would you come to London and eat at low cost food chains when you could have identical meals in your own home town?
If you are desperate for a burger from a high street chain, I would say that Byron Burgers and Five Guys are a better bet.
Alternatively, for a few pounds more you can have a memorable burger in sumptuous surroundings at the Brasserie Zedel. It’s on the menu as Boeuf Hache and is served as part of their fixed price menu.
Empty Restaurants Indicate a Poor Rating for Food and Service
London is a busy place where news of a good restaurant gets out fast. In Soho and Fitzrovia you will see queues outside the doors of many places at lunch time.
Empty restaurants with a slightly out-dated decor are always a warning sign to me.
Touts or Cartoon Characters are Signs of an Underperforming Restaurant
If the manager is handing out cards outside the restaurant door, or worse still, they have paid for someone in fancy dress to entice me inside – it’s a five siren alarm.
Sandwiches from Corner Shops and Supermarkets May be Made off Premises
There are two types of London sandwiches; those that are made on the premises and tend to be deep filled, fresh and tasty and those that are made on an out-of-town industrial estate with ingredients that are dipped in preservatives, encased in plastic and delivered by van to a shop or cafe.
They may be edible but are they gourmet? Probably not – so best avoided unless you are desperate.
Alternatively, try Pret where their sandwiches are freshly made on the premises. Or better still find a street market where there will be all sorts of tasty filled wraps, buns and rolls inspired by cuisines from all corners of the world.
Street Vending Carts May Lack Adequate Safe Food Storage
In my view, the only time to buy a street food snack is when it is in a street food market like Maltby Street, Borough Market, or at the back of the Royal Festival Hall...or has a gazillion five star reviews on TripAdvisor, or a video review on YouTube.
I stay away from hot dog stands, caramelised nut stands etc etc. I am concerned about the quality of the ingredients and the overnight storage of fresh ingredients.
“Traditional Pubs” with Non Chalk Blackboards May Cook Their Food Only in a Microwave or Deep Fat Fryer
Any pub worth its salt will be heaving with people and the landlord will be run ragged.
If you see a pub that’s fake…think plastic flowers in the window boxes, the words “Traditional Pub” emblazoned in gold on the glass and a blackboard that has a painted sign instead of a real chalk board be suspicious, very suspicious.
Your meal will probably be fine but it is likely to be prepared using frozen ingredients that are deep fried or reheated in a microwave. Not what you want when you are looking for a great experience.
Here is an example of a fish and chip pub dinner. I recently had something like this. I enjoyed it but the cod was definitely a bit thin and dry and the whole thing, from the fish to the chips to the peas, had come out of bags in the deep freeze.
Food Displayed or Cooked at the Entrance of Restaurants is Aimed at Tourists
You’ll see these places in Leicester Square, Oxford Circus and Tottenham Court Road…the food is in display cabinets outside, or it is being cooked in the entrance of the store.
You may see pizzas on display or Chinese food being prepared in a wok. And the clientele appears to be tourists or people from out of town.
How to tell the locals from the tourists…locals will tend to be business people in tailored shirts and suiting having a working lunch or young people in fashionable street wear…the tourists are in couples, or groups, speaking their own language and often carrying shopping bags or rucksacks.
These places are aimed at the tourist market. The food will be ok-ish to eat but won’t be memorable.
If you want a Chinese, head to China Town and look for restaurants with a predominantly Chinese clientele. Or find a pizza restaurant that is famed for the quality of its food e.g. Franco Manca which sells sough dough pizza baked on the premises. Pizza Express is also one of the more reliable High Street chains.
Here is a list of our more reliable high street food chains.
The Worst Restaurants in London Often Display Food at Room Temperature
In the UK we have strict rules about how long, high risk food, can be sold at room temperature. Bacteria in food can double every few minutes when its left out on display. Best to make sure that your food is either brought to you from a refrigerator, or heated so that it is steaming.
Your Hotel’s Recommendations May be Incentivised
Hotel receptionists, doormen and concierge services are often paid to give recommendations for specific restaurants.
Of course these suggestions are unlikely to be dire as you are their guest and they will want you to have a good time. However, you will do so much better if you can ask a local person for a restaurant recommendation. Alternatively, look at reviews on YouTube as you will often a get a video tour of the restaurant and the food.
Neon Lighting and Unwelcoming Ambience Indicate a Restaurant to Avoid
This is a pet peeve of mine…unless it is a 1950s diner, neon lighting strips usually communicate that a venue wants you to buy, eat and leave.
And I could add to this trendy, backless stools.
Unless you are having a fast refuelling stop, I think it is a good idea to choose somewhere with a welcoming decor that encourages you to linger a while.
There are High Risk Foods Even in High Quality Restaurants.
The foods shown below are all very high risk in terms and may cause food poisoning which is the last thing you want, especially if you are on holiday.
Exercise caution if you order them and make sure that their are either steaming hot, properly refrigerated or freshly prepared. If you choose fruit, select bananas or oranges or something that you can peel yourself. Nothing much can go wrong with an unpeeled banana.
Burgers must never be served pink, or rare, as the mincing process increases the risk of e-coli.
I always make sure that when I’m out that my food is served very hot. Heat kills bacteria.
A Useful Tool to Help You Avoid the Worst Restaurants in London – Scores on the Doors
You may see a hygiene star rating displayed outside a restaurant. This is known as Scores on the Doors and will indicate how the restaurant fared in its last council-run food safety inspection. You can read the safety report by going to this site. A score of 3 stars or below suggests significant failings were found.
If you are eating at home or on the move you maybe interested in our blog post on popular London snacks. We also have some suggestions for cheap snacks in our post on free and nearly free things to do in London.
The Worst Rated Restaurant in London
As you will see I haven’t named names. On TripAdvisor you will see a ranking of all London restaurants.
If you would like to see an account of the worst ranked restaurant in London, you can read Archie Brydon’s story of the Palace Restaurant. He found a well meaning restauranteur who seems to have been the victim of a smear campaign.
I hope you are able to avoid the worst restaurants in London and may all your choices be safe and tastebud tantalising.
Facebook
Instagram
Pinterest
Twitter